“Jokes” in Italian
Did you know that the Italian language has three words for the English “joke”? Here they are:
- Scherzo
- Battuta
- Barzelletta
Scherzo can be translated as “prank” or “trick”. It is a practical joke that you perform on others.
Sofia mi ha fatto scherzo: mi ha nascosto il telefono.
Sofia played a joke on me: she hid my phone.
Battuta is an oral joke, to make fun of someone or something. It is a witty remark and can easily be translated as “joke”.
Ma dai, era solo una battuta!
Come on, it was only a joke!
Barzelletta is a funny story. It is longer than a simple “battuta” because it leverages the storytelling itself to make listeners laugh.
Ora vi racconto una barzelletta.
Now I’ll tell you a joke (=a funny story).
Despite the various alternatives, the verb “to joke” is scherzareonly.
Stai scherzando?
Are you joking?
However, there are several verbal combinations that are linked to the words we saw before.
The most common one is the verb “fare” as in fare uno scherzo as well as fare una battuta. The word “barzelletta”, instead, is usually linked to the verb raccontare (to tell) because it is, indeed, a storytelling.
In today’s post, I will focus on barzellette.
Funny Jokes in Italian
Have you ever wondered how to understand Italian humor? Have a look at the most common and long-standing humorous Italian jokes.
Most of these jokes play with the language or with some cultural references. In fact, learning the meaning of these expressions will help you improve your understanding of Italians in general, as well as the Italian culture.
Se io mi metto la camicia di lino, che camicia si mette Lino?
If I put on a linen shirt, which shirt does Lino wear? (In Italian, lino means both linen or the name Lino.)
Many jokes often involve Pierino, which is the Italian equivalent of Little Johnny. Just like in English, Pierino is a small boy who asks questions and makes statements that can sound embarrassing.
Pierino dice alla maestra:
“Signora maestra, sa dirmi quale animale mangia con la coda?”.
“Pierino, non dire stupidaggini, nessun animale mangia con la coda!”.
“Tutti mangiano con la coda… ne conosce forse qualcuno che se la toglie prima di mangiare?”.
Pierino says to the teacher:
“Teacher, can you tell me which animal eats with its tail?”.
“Pierino, don’t talk nonsense, no animal eats with its tail!”.
“Every animal eats with their tails… do you know an animal that takes its tail off before eating?”.
La maestra interroga Pierino:
“Pierino, dimmi due pronomi!”.
“Chi? Io?”.
“Bravissimo Pierino! Ora sentiamo un altro”.
The teacher asks Pierino:
“Pierino, tell me two pronouns”.
“Who? Me?”.
“Well done, Pierino! Now let’s hear someone else”.
Italians are funny people. We like making jokes about our friends as well as ourselves. Jokes make part of our daily conversations, and we usually do not get offended if someone plays a prank on us.
-Vuoi una mano?
-No, grazie. Ce ne ho due.
-Do you need a hand? (Do you need help?)
-No, thanks. I have two (hands).
Short Jokes in Italian
“Barzellette” are usually quite long. If you want to tell a barzelletta and provoke a laugh you have to make sure that people are paying attention to what you are saying, and if you are learning Italian this might be hard at the beginning.
This is why here I collected some short Italian jokes with English translations that you can practice to enrich your Italian conversations.
Due amici s’incontrano:
“Lo sai? Ho appena bruciato 2.500 calorie.”Davvero? E come hai fatto?”
“Ho dimenticato la torta nel forno…”
Two friends meet:
“Guess what! I just burned 2,500 calories.”
“Really? And how did you do that?”
“I forgot the cake in the oven …”
Un ragazzo chiede al suo papà:
“Papà dimmi, sei capace di scrivere il tuo nome ad occhi chiusi?”
“Penso di sì, perché?”
“Ottimo, devo farti firmare la pagella”.
A boy asks his dad:
“Dad, tell me, are you able to write your name with your eyes closed?”
“I think so, why?”
“Great, I need you to sign the report card.”
“Dottore, dottore! Ho solo 59 secondi di vita, mi aiuti!”
“Certo! Un minuto e sono da lei!”
“Doctor, doctor! I only have 59 seconds to live, help me!”
“Sure, just give me one minute!”
Una bambina torna a casa dopo il suo primo giorno di scuola.
La madre le chiede: “Che cosa hai imparato oggi?”
La bambina risponde: “Non abbastanza, vogliono che torni anche domani”.
A little girl goes home after her first day of school.
Her mother asks her: “What did you learn today?”
The girl replies: “Not enough, they want me to go back tomorrow too.”
Jokes About Italians
As I said before, Italians are very good with self-humor. Making fun of oneself is the best way to live a lighthearted life: do not take life too seriously!
Let’s have a look at some jokes about Italians:
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta way.
What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island.
I said, “Don’t be Sicily.”
Read more jokes about Italians.
Italian Riddles
Another type of jokes I love is riddles. Riddles play around language, words, and are more interactive than standard jokes. Whenever I have to use my brain, I am engaged!
Va su e giù ma non si muove.
La scala.
It goes up and down but it doesn’t move.
The ladder.
Ha molti denti, ma non può masticare.
Il pettine.
It has many teeth, but cannot chew.
The comb.
Può riempire una stanza, ma non occupa spazio.
La luce.
It can fill a room, but it doesn’t take up space.
The light.
Più si cresce e più si accorcia.
La vita.
The more it grows, the shorter it gets.
Life.
Read more Italian riddles.
