The most common way to say “how are you?” in Italian is come stai? for one person you know (informal) and come sta? for someone you address as Lei (formal). To ask more than one person, say come state?
| Italian | English | When to use it |
| Come stai? | How are you? | Informal, one person (tu) |
| Come sta? | How are you? | Formal, one person (Lei) |
| Come state? | How are you? | More than one person |
| Come va? | How’s it going? | Neutral and relaxed, works with almost anyone |
| Tutto bene? | Everything OK? | Casual, with friends |
Come stai is pronounced KOH-meh STAI, where the ai sounds like the English word “eye”. Come means “how”, and stai is the tu form of stare. Italian uses stare, not essere, to say how someone is doing.
“How are you?” in Italian
Different Ways to ask “How are you?” in Italian
Asking “How are you?” in Italian is not just a greeting or a conversation starter. It is a way to demonstrate that you care about the other person, and that you are open to share a chat with them.
Unlike English, which, most of the time, uses “how are you?” as an ice-breaker only, the Italian counterpart does require an answer. Or, at least, if an Italian speaker asks you how you are, they expect an answer.
Interestingly, Italian is a very versatile language, therefore there are many ways of asking a simple “How are you?” in Italian, and different questions will result in different answers.
The easiest way you can ask an Italian how they are is come stai?, but the easier the question, the simpler the answer. So, let me go through different ways you can start a conversation in Italian.
The Basics: “Come stai?” vs “Come sta?”
As you might know already, the Italian language distinguishes between formal and informal register, and this plays a role in multiple aspects of conversations, including asking how someone is.
- Come stai? – How are you? (Informal tu)
- Come sta? – How are you? (Formal Lei)
Notice how the verb stare is conjugated in the third person singular in the second sentences, since it is a formal question.
Casual Conversations: “Tutto Bene?” and “Come va?”
In more relaxed settings, Italians often use Tutto bene? (everything good?) or Come va? (how is it going?). These phrases are perfect for casual encounters and are commonly used among friends. They are a great way to check in with friends without sounding too formal.
There also is another very similar expression which I like a lot: Tutto a posto? literally meaning “Is everything in its place?”. This expression really underlines the Italian perception of having things in their place to feel good.
As a linguist, I love how culture and language influence each other and how this can be reflected through words!
Interested in this topic? Learn more about whether speaking different languages affect your behavior.
Other Way to ask “How are you?” in Italian
I selected two more expressions that can be used to check on people. The difference between these expressions and the ones I illustrated before is that, here, the context of the question is different.
- Come ti senti?/Come si sente? (How are you/You feeling?)
- Va meglio? (Is it going better?)
As you might have perceived, you can use these expressions when you know that the interlocutor was not feeling great, and want to check on them.
Also, notice that when asking the question come ti senti? you are dealing with a reflexive verb. This means that its formal counterpart must take the reflexive pronoun into account as well.
“Come va?” vs “Come stai?”
Come stai? asks about the person. Come va? literally means “how does it go?” and asks how things are going in general, so it also works for a specific topic:
Come va il lavoro?
How is work going?
Both questions get the same answers in practice, for example Bene, grazie. E tu? Because come va? is neutral, it is the safest choice when you are not sure whether to use tu or Lei.
Asking a Group: “Come state?”
When you talk to two or more people, use the voi form:
Ciao ragazzi, come state?
Hi guys, how are you?
More Casual Ways to Ask “How Are You?”
These questions are for friends and family. They sound natural in a chat or when you meet after some time:
- Come va la vita? – How’s life?
- Come vanno le cose? – How are things going?
- Come te la passi? – How have you been? / How are you getting on?
- Che si dice? – What’s new? (literally “what is being said?”)
- Che mi racconti? – What’s new with you? (literally “what do you tell me?”)
- Come butta? – How’s it going? (slang, only with close friends)
Responding to “How Are You?”
Knowing how to ask “How are you?” is just the beginning. Equally important is knowing how to respond. Here are a few common responses:
- Bene, grazie. E tu? – Good, thanks. And you?
- Sto benissimo! – I’m very well!
- Mai stato/a meglio! – never felt better than this!
- Non c’è male. – Not bad.
- Come al solito – As usual
- Così così. – So-so.
- Non posso lamentarmi – I cannot complain
- Sto meglio – I’m better (usually used when your interlocutor wants to check on you after being informed of an unpleasant mood)
- Male – Bad
As you can notice, I listed the possible answers in order from the most positive to the most negative. Hopefully, you’ll only need the first ones!
Also, as I mentioned before, asking how someone is in Italian is not just for saying. People expect you to answer, and they also expect you to show the same interest in how they feel.
This means that you should always ask back how your interlocutor is doing, in order to keep the conversation going. This is a sign of politeness in the Italian culture.
More Answers to “Come Stai?”, From Great to Bad
- Benissimo! / Benone! – Really well!
- Alla grande! – Great! (informal)
- Da dio! – Fantastic! (informal, among friends)
- Sto bene. – I’m well.
- Tutto bene. / Tutto a posto. – Everything’s fine.
- Abbastanza bene. – Fairly well.
- Niente male. – Not bad at all.
- Si tira avanti. – I’m getting by.
- Potrebbe andare meglio. – It could be better.
- Non sto molto bene. – I’m not feeling very well.
- Sto male. / Sto malissimo. – I feel bad. / I feel terrible.
Asking Back: “E Tu?” and “E Lei?”
Use E tu? with someone you call tu, E Lei? in formal situations and E voi? for a group. Here are two short dialogues:
Ciao Marta, come stai?
Hi Marta, how are you?
Bene, grazie! E tu?
Good, thanks! And you?
Non c’è male, grazie.
Not bad, thanks.
Buongiorno, signor Rossi, come sta?
Good morning, Mr Rossi, how are you?
Bene, grazie. E Lei?
Well, thank you. And you?
Molto bene, grazie.
Very well, thank you.
Common Mistakes With “How Are You?” in Italian
- Saying sono bene. Say sto bene, with stare. To learn when to use stare and when to use essere, read my lesson on essere and stare.
- Asking come sei? This means “what are you like?” and asks about someone’s personality, not how they are today.
- Saying come vai? This is not a greeting. Ask come va? instead.
- Mixing formal and informal. If you ask come sta?, keep using Lei for the whole conversation, and ask back with E Lei?
Mastering the Italian “How Are You?”
Mastering these greetings not only improves your Italian but also enriches your cultural experiences. Every time I travel abroad and tell someone I am Italian, the very first thing they say is come stai?. It is a worldwide known expression!
Now it’s time to learn other Italian greetings as well, such as good morning in Italian, so that you can have conversations with anyone you meet!
So, next time you meet an Italian speaker, try out these phrases. You’ll be surprised at how these simple words can bridge cultures and create lasting impressions.
Buona fortuna! (Good luck!)
