What Does “Lei” Mean in Italian?
If you are familiar with Italian personal pronouns already, you know that lei corresponds to the feminine third person singular. It does, indeed, but it is also as a formal version of the second person tu, both for men and women.
Let me show you this very important distinction:
Informal:
Alberto, (tu) sei molto gentile!
Alberto, you are very kind!
Formal:
Signor Cucchi, (lei) è molto gentile!
Mr. Cucchi, you are very kind!
“Lei” in Italian
When to use “Lei Formale”
There are some specific contexts when the Italian formal lei must be used, for instance:
- When you address people you do not know, especially if they are older than you.
- In formal settings, like at work, at an interview, at a meeting with new clients…
- When you are talking to a person representing authority or a specific social position, like police officers, professors, doctors…
Whenever I teach this topic to my students, I always provide them with this sketch that makes the decisional process way easier:
When you get closer to someone and want to switch from the formality to the informality, you can explicitly ask this: diamoci del tu (let’s address each other using tu).
How to use “Lei Formale”
Good news: the conjugation of the formal lei is exactly the same as the third person singular. Therefore, you already know everything you need!
The only important thing you have to keep in mind is that also pronouns are affected, therefore you have to make sure you use the right direct pronoun and indirect pronoun when you are having a formal conversation.
Professore, parli più forte per favore. Non la sento!
Professor, speak more loudly please, I can’t hear you!
Buongiorno signore, come posso aiutarla?
Good morning sir, how can I help you?
Keep in mind that we use lei and all its corresponding forms to address both women and men. However, adjectives and past participles maintain their masculine form, even if the pronoun is Lei:
Signor Cucchi, (lei) è stato davvero coraggioso!
Mr. Cucchi, you were so brave!
What to Know About the “Lei Formale”
Let me address some more relevant points about the formal lei:
- In very formal written communications, Lei and all pronouns that refer back to it might be capitalized:
Gentile Signora Bianchi, La informiamo che…
Dear Mrs. Bianchi, we inform you that…
Signor Bianchi, Le chiediamo cortesemente di…
Mr. Bianchi, we kindly ask you to…
- To address someone with Lei or with tu in Italian is referred as dare del lei or dare del tu a qualcuno.
Dammi del tu.
Address me with tu.
Non darmi del Lei, per favore. Non sono così vecchio!
Don’t address me with lei, please. I am not that old!
- Pronoun placements with verbs changes a lot when using lei, especially formal imperatives. This topic is quite hard, so you do not have to study it yet. However, it is my duty as a linguist to present you with all relevant information!
