Why is it Important to Know Italian Taboos?
If you want to learn the Italian language, it is important that you also have knowledge of the Italian culture; culture and language influence each other, and having a deeper understanding of some cultural aspects of a country will make it easier to learn its language as well.
Italian culture is famous worldwide, thanks to its history, art, cuisine, and a strong feeling of community. However, something that is often left out when exploring the cultural landscape of a country is its collection of taboos.
These unwritten laws do influence Italians’ daily lives and I believe they must be understood to really appreciate and connect with them.
Let me guide you through some of the most famous Italian cultural taboos and unspoken rules: I will illustrate the topics, the historical and cultural reasons behind them, as well as some guidelines regarding how you should behave in those circumstances.
Italian Taboos
Discussing Money Matters
Money is not a topic you should discuss with anyone. People’s salary and personal finances are seen as private matters in Italy, and asking about them is considered intrusive and impolite.
Historically speaking, Italy has always been divided into two parts: the industrial North and the agricultural South, and talking about money could highlight these differences and cause issues.
To respect these norms, avoid direct questions about personal earnings. If salary discussions arise naturally, let the other person share at their comfort level. Also, since Italians have a strong consideration of people’s trust and intimacy, treat any disclosed information with confidentiality.
Religion
Religion, particularly Catholicism, deeply intertwines with daily life in Italy and has been central to Italian culture and identity for centuries, influencing societal norms, behaviors, and taboos.
The presence of the Vatican further reinforces the high degree of sensitivity with which public discussions about religion are treated. Criticizing religious beliefs or practices can be perceived as disrespectful, given the sacred role that religion plays in many Italians’ daily lives.
In sum, it is subject that is often approached with caution and respect. My advice if you are facing a discussion about religion in Italy, is to listen more than you speak to understand the depth of others’ perspectives; express interest and respect, and be mindful to not impose your views.
Politics
In Italy, politics is a sensitive topic because of the country’s turbulent political history and diverse ideological landscape. Just like for religion, intimate and personal opinions are usually left undiscussed and unjudged.
Historically, Italy became a republic in 1946, and since then, there have been many different political groups and strong opinions. This includes tough times like the era of Fascism, but also more recent political divisions and divergent opinions.
Because of this, people in Italy often choose not to talk about politics in casual conversations to keep things peaceful and avoid arguments. However, this should not be misunderstood with lack of freedom: most Italians are open to conversations and accept and appreciate diversity.
Sex
In Italy, topics like sex and identity are often approached with caution, influenced by the country’s strong Catholic heritage. Unfortunately, the Catholic Church promotes conservative views on matters like sexuality and gender roles, which have historically shaped Italian attitudes.
It was only in the last decade of the 20th century that Italy began to see significant shifts, influenced by global movements for sexual liberation and LGBTQ+ rights. However, despite legal progress, such as the recognition of same-sex civil unions in 2016, many Italians still hold conservative views.
Discussions around sex and identity can vary greatly depending on the region, generation, and individual belief systems. In my personal experience, this has never been a conversational issue, neither among friends nor in family.
Italian Unspoken Rules
The Italian Perception of Time
In Italy, punctuality does not hold the same urgency as it does in some other cultures. My international friends often tease me because I always arrive at least 10 minutes later than scheduled – never more than 3o though!
In friendly contexts, arriving a little behind schedule is often forgiven and seen as a social norm. However, be punctual in less casual settings, such as work-related appointments.
Dining Etiquette
Meal times are sacred and deeply rooted in the Italian culture. They are considered a time for family and friends, emphasizing the importance of shared experiences over food.
For example, being on time for a meal is not about punctuality, but rather about respect for the host and the effort put into preparing the food. During the meal, we usually wait until everyone is served before starting to eat, showcasing respect and patience.
The use of phones or other distractions at the table is considered rude, as meals are a time for family and friends to connect and enjoy each other’s company.
Also, the food that you have on the plate is expected to be finished as a sign of appreciation for the meal, reflecting the Italian value of not wasting food.
Superstitions
Italy has a rich collection of superstitions that date back centuries, linking ancient pagan beliefs with Christian traditions. They are part of everyday life and even influence modern Italian culture, where old beliefs continue to guide many social customs and interactions.
Many Italian superstitions are connected to the evil eye, or malocchio, a belief that one can receive bad luck or harm from another’s envious glance. This superstition has its roots in ancient Roman times when people believed in the power of the evil eye and used various charms for protection.
Another common superstition involves salt. Spilling salt is considered bad luck, given the fact that salt was a valuable resource and losing it was a sign of coming misfortune. To counteract the bad luck, Italians might throw a pinch of salt over their shoulders.
Italians also consider Friday the 17th as an unlucky day. The fear of the number 17 comes from the Roman numeral XVII, which can be rearranged to spell VIXI, a Latin word that means “I have lived,” implying death.
Black cats are also subjects of superstition. Like in many cultures, a black cat crossing one’s path is considered bad luck, a belief that goes back to medieval legends associating black cats with witches.
Personal Space and Physical Contact
In Italy, physical contact is a significant part of social interaction, reflecting the warmth and closeness of Italian culture. This is often shown through gestures like hugs, kisses on the cheek, and frequent touches during conversation.
In general, body language plays a crucial role in daily communication. I realize that I wouldn’t be able to have a conversation without hand gestures. For me, they really help convey emotions and intentions, enhancing verbal communication.
Of course, these norms vary between different regions and generations. Usually, in the South people are more physical than in the North of Italy, as well as in urban or younger settings compared to rural areas.
Understanding these unspoken rules about physical contact helps in navigating social situations in Italy, where such expressions are natural and expected parts of building and maintaining relationships.
Communication and Conversation
The passionate and expressive communication style of Italians is well-known. Besides the frequently animated gestures, a typical Italian habit during conversations is to interrupt people while they speak.
I know it might sound rude, and I experienced it myself! Many international friends of mine told me so, but for us it is the opposite: in Italy, interrupting someone in the middle of a sentence is a sign of involvement and excitement and is not considered impolite.
Also, Italians value honesty and directness while conversing with others. They respect free exchange of ideas, even when it means expressing disagreements.
However, as I mentioned before, it’s important that you pay attention to the conversational subjects. Politics, religion, and personal concerns are frequently delicate topics that should be handled with deference and care.
Embrace and Explore the Italian Culture
Understanding the various Italian taboos and unspoken rules is essential for anyone looking to connect with the Italian culture. Recognizing the significance of some topics and habits can enhance your experiences and interactions in Italy.
As you explore Italian culture, remember that these taboos, deeply rooted in history and tradition, are not restrictions. They are pathways to deeper relationships and a fuller understanding of this society.
Grasping these cultural conventions can make your journey into the heart of Italy respectful and rewarding, allowing you to establish real connections and navigating social situations with confidence.
As you delve into the depths of Italy’s rich tapestry of traditions and customs, embrace the Italian way of life and allow the beauty of their culture to charm you.
