Short Italian jokes

There are all types of jokes in Italian. Long, short, about the police, about women, about men, etc. In this post, we’ll focus on short Italian jokes. You’ll also find the world’s funniest joke both in Italian and English.
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Short Italian jokes

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Here are some of the best short Italian jokes along with their English translations:

“Dottore, dottore! Ho solo 59 secondi di vita, mi aiuti!”
“Certo! Un minuto e sono da lei!”

“Doctor, doctor! I only have 59 seconds to live, help me!”
“Sure, just give me one minute!”

Pierino al compagno alla fine del compito in classe: “Come è andata?”.
“Male, ho consegnato il foglio in bianco!”.
“Maledizione anch’io; la maestra penserà che abbiamo copiato!”.

Pierino says to his partner at the end of the test in class: “How did it go?”.
“Bad, I handed over a blank sheet!”.
“Damn, me too; the teacher will think we have copied!”.

Una bambina torna a casa dopo il suo primo giorno di scuola.
La madre le chiede: “Che cosa hai imparato oggi?”
La bambina risponde: “Non abbastanza, vogliono che torni anche domani”.

A little girl goes home after her first day of school.
Her mother asks her: “What did you learn today?”
The girl replies: “Not enough, they want me to go back tomorrow too.”

Un signore sta passeggiando per la strada quando vede una macchina dei carabinieri capovolta e allora chiede loro: “Perché avete girato la macchina?” e i carabinieri gli rispondono: “Per svuotare il posacenere!”

A man is walking down the street when he sees a carabinieri car upside down and then asks them: “Why is the car upside down?” and the carabinieri answers him: “To empty the ashtray!”

The world’s funniest joke in Italian

Here’s the translation of the world’s funniest joke, according to the British Association for the Advancement of Science. It was written by Spike Milligan:

Una coppia di cacciatori del New Jersey sono nel bosco quando uno di loro cade a terra. Questo non sembra respirare e i suoi occhi sono assenti. L’amico chiama immediatamente i soccorsi al telefono. Urla: «Il mio amico è morto! Che posso fare?». «Cerchi di calmarsi, l’aiuto io – gli risponde l’operatore – Innanzitutto si assicuri che sia realmente morto». Un attimo di silenzio, poi si sente un colpo di fucile. «Ok. E adesso?»

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

We hope you enjoyed our selection of jokes in Italian!

Still translating in your head? Wanna speak Italian for real? Check out Stefano's courses to think directly in Italian and become fluent fast!

Eleonora

I’m originally from Argentina but grew up in Italy, so I’m bilingual. I love languages, which is why I studied French and Linguistics in London. I’m a grammar nerd and I love finding out about the meaning of words.

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