Funniest Italian jokes

There are too many good jokes in Italian and it’s hard to pick the best, but we tried. We prepared a selection of the funniest Italian jokes for you, including some jokes about soccer, politics, and Italian idiosyncrasy.
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Funniest Italian jokes

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Here’s our selection of the funniest Italian jokes:

Pierino dice al papà:
“Papà, papà ma le scuregge pesano?”
“No, Pierino, perché?”
“Allora mi sono cagato addosso!”

Pierino says to his father:
“Daddy, daddy, do farts weigh?”
“No, Pierino, why?”
“Then I shat on myself!”

Un bambino dice alla madre:
“Mamma perchè hai quella pancia così grande?”
“Perchè aspetto una sorellina per te.”
Nella stazione degli autobus vede un uomo con la pancia grande e domanda all’uomo:
“Signore e lei cosa aspetta?”
“Io aspetto l’auto bus.”
“Se le esce una bici me lo puoi dare a me?”

A child says to his mother:
“Mom, why do you have that big belly?”
“Because I’m waiting for a little sister for you.”
In the bus station he sees a man with a big belly and asks him:
“Sir, what are you waiting for?”
“I’m waiting for the bus.”
“If it’s a bike, can you give it to me?”

Pierino e la nonna vanno al supermercato. Dopo un po che camminano Pierino vede un soldatino e lo vuole prendere. La nonna lo ferma e gli dice che le cose a terra non si raccolgono. Al ritorno la nonna casca a terra e dice: “Pierino, aiutami” e Pierino risponde: “No, tu mi hai detto che le cose per terra non si raccolgono.”

Pierino and his grandmother go to the supermarket. After walking for a while, Pierino sees a toy soldier and wants to take it. The grandmother stops him and tells him he shouldn’t pick up things from the floor. On their way back, the grandmother falls on the floor and says: “Pierino, help me” and Pierino replies: “No, I’m not supposed to pick up things from the floor.”

“Mi sono fatto la casa nuova. L’ho voluta tutta tonda.”
“Come mai così strana?”
“Perché mia suocera quando ha saputo che mi facevo la casa nuova mi ha chiesto se ci sarà un angolo anche per lei!”

“I got my new house built. I wanted it all round.”
“Why so strange?”
“Because when my mother-in-law heard I was building a new house she asked me if there will be a corner for her too!”

Very Italian jokes

Here are some Italian jokes about soccer, politics, and Italian idiosyncrasy:

Pierino vede una zebra ed esclama: “Questa sì che è una vera ultras juventina!!!”

Pierino sees a Zebra and exclaims: “This is true Juventus ultra!!!”

Un rapinatore sale su un autobus a Napoli e grida: “Fermi, questa è una rapina!”. Un signore si alza e dice: “Maronn’ mia, che spavento, pensavo fosse ‘o controllore!”.

A thief gets on a bus in Naples and shouts: “Stop, this is a robbery!”. A man stands up and says: “Oh my god, I got so scared! I thought you were the ticket inspector”.

Un interista parla con un amico e gli dice: “sai che il mio cane quando l’inter perde sta a digiuno per tutto il giorno?” al che l’amico incuriosito gli chiede: “e se vince?” e il fallito interista dice: “eh… non lo so sinceramente…in fondo sono solo 10 anni che ce l’ho!!!”

An Inter supporter talks to a friend and tells him: “Did you know that when the Inter loses, my dog ​​fasts all day?” to which the curious friend asks him: “and if he wins?” and the Inter supporter says: “humm, I honestly don’t know. After all, I’ve only had him for 10 years!!!”

Berlusconi in aereo dice: “Ora butterò 10€ e farò felice un italiano”.
Poco dopo dice: “ora butterò 50€ e farò felici cinque italiani”.
Allora interviene un passegero dicendogli: “Perchè non ti butti tu così farai felice tutta l’umanità?.

Berlusconi is on a plane and says: “Now I will throw 10 € and I will make an Italian happy”.
Shortly after he says: “Now I will throw € 50 and I will make five Italians happy”.
Then a passenger intervenes and tells him: “Why don’t you throw yourself so you will make all humanity happy?”

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Eleonora

I’m originally from Argentina but grew up in Italy, so I’m bilingual. I love languages, which is why I studied French and Linguistics in London. I’m a grammar nerd and I love finding out about the meaning of words.

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